I need a sexy ojou-sama to save me from employment.

Saturday 25th April 2026

ohayoooo~~ mina sama~ _(´ཀ`」 ∠) _

im fuckin deaddd im deaddd i hate my jobbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbuhhhhhh!!!!!!

im so BURNT OUTTTTT IS THIS WHAT HAVING A JOB IS LIKE I HATE THIS I HATE THIS SO MUCH I WANNA GO BACK TO UNIVERSITYYYYYYY!!!! .·°՞(っ-ᯅ-ς)՞°·.

the first couple months were fine, i was like "yes!!! woohoooo im ready to do my best!!!"

but it feels like i keep making mistakes, and like, obviously im not trying to do that!!!

uhhhghhhh im just so tired of having to have conversations with my angry superiors were theyre like "DONT DO THAT" and im like!!! THEN TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD DO AND DONT BE ANGRY WITH ME!!!!! ૮◞ ‸ ◟ ა૮◞ ‸ ◟ ა

uhhhhh hastag vent. i need to get out! of here!!! so im applying to masters degrees, which is its own can of worms.

WHY DOES A MASTERS IN RESEARCH COST £21,000 IN TUITIONNNNNNN DONT PISS ME OFFFFFFFFF!!!!! ( ᗒᗣᗕ )

i dont even know what I Want to do with my life, i just know that i dont wanna be here...

in times like these i like to imagine a sexy villainess anime girl in a bikini. its not even like, a lustful thing. i dont get sexual gratification from it. just the platonic ideal of an evil ojou sama saying some shit like "ohohohohoho~" makes me feel something other than wanting to kms. beato from umineko, that kind of thing. mina-sama am i fucked. (ㆆ_ㆆ)

i cried at work the other day. in front of one of my coworkers and everything. urghhhhhhhhhhhh... now when she sees me she asks how im feeling and looks at me like im... i dont even know but i hate it.

and one of the older guys in the lab gave me valentines chocolates. i'd spoken to him like twice at that point. expensive valentines chocolates. hes like, gotta be MINIMUM 30 and hes going BALDDDDDDDDD AND HES UGLYYYYYYYYYYYY!!! he gives me serious incel vibes im not even joking gang. and he speaks to me like im a toddler its really really weird. like, i cant remember the exact stuff he said (cos this guy is literally a background character to me) but it was some "lets all clap our hands! :)" ts LIKE WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK UARGHHHHHH (ಠ益ಠᶠᶸᶜᵏᵧₒᵤ!)(ಠ益ಠᶠᶸᶜᵏᵧₒᵤ!)(ಠ益ಠᶠᶸᶜᵏᵧₒᵤ!) he keeps trying to make conversation with me and stand next to me during lab meetings and its just like. please leave me alone.

save me confident anime girl,. i dont want to be here anymore.

i feel like im getting stared at every room i walk into and im so exhausted that i keep forgetting to take my medication .which definitely isnt helping.

when i feel like i want to die im reminded of one of my favourite mangas: "depressed mangaka x popular mangaka"

its about a guy whos at the very rock bottom. hes an alcoholic, no one wants to buy his manga so hes broke, and he has various autoimmune and mental health issues. a popular "super darling" mangaka meets him and sees that he will die of neglect if left to himself, and does everything he can to help him get better. i really encourage any pavilion guests who are struggling with life to give it a read. it made my struggles seems really, "seen" ig.

anyway theres this one scene were the depressed guy is like "i hate all this... i genuinely want to die." so the other guy hugs him and his internal monologue is like "i still want to die but... its warm." and im like fuckkkkkkkkk...........................

today's mood: kinda going thru it rn. kinda in the trenches a bit i cant lie

i'm listening to: CARTOON NETWORK by Black Dresses

this is lizaveta, not giving up, but signing off, for a little while.